Cpu's & pins - Poor Man's AR - you can find the recipe & steps from lazersteve's guided tour link. Of course, do each separately, In smaller batches so you can observe what's taking place. I seriously recommend taking notes - something about organizing your thoughts to put the observations/steps on paper really helps me as a memory aid. You need just 3 ingredients - Muriatic acid, distilled water & a nitrate, sodium nitrate, or potassium nitrate (which I use). Its safer & cheaper than buying nitric acid outright.
Gold plated - the sulfuric cell, really one of the easiest treatments if you follow the safety guidelines. lazersteve has a DVD devoted to this.
I don't remember if someone mentioned this to you before on another thread, so bear with me - Have you thought about getting lazersteve's DVDs or GSP's book? These do a great job of breaking down the "why's" & "how's".
On the connectors, well, some do better in a ball mill than others, due to the plastic used. If they were plated AFTER the pins were inserted, they needed a heat/chemical resistant plastic which can be a real pain to get to release the metal. If a ball mill is feasible, rusty has had good success ABRADING the gold from plated connectors.
Like Barren, I recommend patience, as well - learn one process well before moving on to another. The metal will still be there as you become expert at each process. There is a great feeling that comes from a process working exactly right, every time & that only comes with knowing your feed stock & the chemistry, following the steps ("don't try to re-invent the wheel", as they say on here a lot.
we've all been where you are - hang in there & make your own luck!
hope this helps some.