# Saying Gold, Taboo?



## cloud9please (Dec 19, 2016)

Hello everyone. I am a new user but have been drowning myself in research of precious metals that had started me on a discovery that has warped my entire view of people and the extent to which they will lie to themselves in the hopes of not sounding crazy. Starting with my father being a Networker for a large corporation in their main building, and many years later with an overflowing two houses and five sheds of electronics from also being a hoarder, I discovered the value in what was to be just thrown out.
My dearest and closest to me have become the most distant. My family is nothing but pessimists. It is always "you cannot do this, and this -MIGHT- be why you cant". They will do anything to shoot down an idea even if its a complete and total assumption that they back with such conviction, it has made me riddled with doubt my whole life. It wasn't until finding myself in a situation that most people find themselves in when they make a discovery and don't have a fancy piece of paper that costs them tens of thousands of dollars, that I had realized some dirty truths about this world and the psychology of people. The amount of scientific achievements that must have been dismissed as crazy throughout history and the psychological strength of those famous people to push through their own doubt brought on upon them by their peers, eventually giving us technological or medical advancements. (like Nikola Tesla as he was trying to help Edison, telling him he could make his generators more efficient but they would have to be completely reinvented. Without anyone to have his back, the narrow minded Edison dismissed him. Through perseverance and ridicule he brought us what we call today an Alternating Current Generator. Others, like myself who has not had the confidence builders like a college or highschool diploma would build through the natural world, one would also end up with a psychological battle of ones self. I also raised myself and made better life decisions for myself than my own mother could for me. She was why I went to jail for the first time.


With not having an ounce of chemistry experience to being well versed in chemical processes, periodic table, and sleepless nights of study (I self educate myself on a unhealthy and practically obsessive level in all honesty), I had also wanted to fact check all methods and compare my most efficient method of large/business scale refining of precious metals to the ones I have found here (Most other sources are not as beautifully written as the articles in this community). Along with all other types of recycling that would synergize with these processes and the reagents used within these processes on a reasonable and space/time efficient manner. Aspects such as bio diesel and the salvaging of aluminum for pyrotechnic powder or batteries for distilling sulfuric and selling lead for casting, as these have 1/10th of the value in resale at a scrap yard compared to the little work it takes to close that profit gap.


During this journey my father was having walls poured for an addition on the house and there was a lot dug up. I saw some extremely interesting mineral coloration in the rock piles and dirt. Very strange types of rocks that I wouldn't expect to find in the country mountainside of the north east that i have not seen anywhere else.

I picked up some flux (which i found out was back filled when the house was built) and went on discussing this with my family to stop trying to fill everything in and give me a moment to identify these minerals because I felt they would be valuable, or it wouldn't kill them to give me the time to teach myself how to identify them properly. Within the first week I discovered what looked to be a pyroxene. Platinum Silicon ore with gold oxide vein through it, but refused to bring myself to say it. I asked for more time and became completely obsessed with learning and fully understanding geology so that I may be absolutely sure of my discoveries.


The more I learned, the more I was sure. The more i found. Then I started looking at the geography of the strange "valley" that was a mere 1-2 minute walk from edge to edge and fifteen feet deep. Checking computer generated glacial coverage maps of north-east America and trying to analyze what caused this. (i forgot to add that I had found multiple pieces of what looked to be meteorites) The whole time I may as well have been invisible. It was as if I never even spoke, My stations were moved and I Was dismissed as if I was a small child playing in dirt. (26 years old, and only at home because I cut out another best friend over drugs and his own greed, who robbed me and moved into my house to date my landlord who also threw me out while rent was paid in advance.) This being one of many situations of encountering completely shit for people and humanity. I got kicked out the day before moving out, I was moving out because I didn't want to hear them scream all night fighting as it was affecting the one and probably only good job I finally got so I could pretend to be normal like everyone else.


Through all of this. I have faced the brutal reality of people and how intent they are on lying to themselves for the sake of not sounding crazy or being judged by others. My whole family dismisses me as insane now, even though they "never said that". Like a child playing where he thinks he is flying a space ship or a fighter pilot and the camera view changes and you just see a child playing with blocks. Also being dismissed as if I am a small child showing them a hot wheels collection. passively agreeing and not even allowing themselves to accept whats right below them even when I have shown them multiple sources of videos and literature down to definitions of terminology used. I'm drowning and need help dealing with people that are so ignorant they will do anything and hang on to any shred of doubt for the sake of (i don't know? ). I was always a black sheep of my family. Never understood me, most of the things I say they hardly even know what I'm talking about. But a high school drop out and constantly involved in illicit profits. After finally finding another application for my mind that they have been apart of for once, I feel they think I've gone insane and just speak words that sound good and they don't understand expecting them to agree with me in the end. But they will not sit down and look into it themselves or ask anyone else.

I have boulders of iron/gold oxide, gemstones and gemstone forming rocks, extremely strange accumulation of different types of rocks and geology is as vast a field as modern medicine, which I found out after two months and hardly putting a dent in the information. I burn around 150-200 websites of information every 2-3 days when I have a goal set. but around 30-50 a day from "snowballing", or getting stuck on one subject and thriving on hyper-links until it feels understood. I feel like a foreign student without a translator. I cant tell if I'm just crazy since there has to be a reason they are like this, right?. or if people really can become so absorbed in tunnel vision that they absolutely refuse somebody like me could be this smart or even teach themselves this much, and that I have to just be all talk. I say that because I run into it a lot. Especially starting new jobs. I noticed nobody likes it when some punk kid involved in drugs comes in with no experience and steals the show or shows them how to do something better, that they have been doing for so long thinking it was the best way. Not intentionally trying to make them feel any sort of way, but just trying to help and see my thoughts be applied and of use that actually isn't for bad things for once.



I even posted some things on facebook asking people to identify some rocks. But when I got to the gold ore, nobody commented on it or even guessed. I know everyone who looked at it said "gold" to themselves. It seems only my niece of 10 years had the guts to immediately come out and say "it looks like gold!" without myself giving any outside influence or talking about anything relating to gold.


The actions and behavior of my peers is causing me psychological problems. it makes me feel like I'm missing something. How can you put so much information and facts infront of a person, or even those closest to you and they refuse to believe it. they become so absorbed in the "chances of something like that happening....." phrase that it goes from uncommon or highly unlikely to not possible because they are not that lucky and nothing "good" happens to them, or what ever it may be. Even the director of the southern tier gem and mineral club identified everything else i showed him with ease, but when we got to the gold and possible meteorites. He had no sure identification, very hesitant, and you could see that he was just answering based upon the concept that all intellectual figures of importance believe that if somebody comes to them for an answer "i don't know" just isn't an acceptable answer. Instead he just talks about how unlikely it would be and cant tell me anything else.


Is this world really this screwed up, or is it just me. I'm feeling like this has become one of the worst things in my life to happen, and I've discovered something most people don't get to in their entire lifetime. Its making me think I'm crazy and I might have something wrong because I never thought these people would be like this, or find myself in a situation where the world feels extremely lonely despite being populated. I have taught myself and retained more information on chemistry, geology, and metallurgy than anyone I know, and I barely even went to school. I dropped out for too poor of attendance. But nobody will even look at whats in front of them. almost everyone says "you need to stay off the internet" and "you cant believe everything you read". The ignorance is incredible. As if one is incapable of pulling multiple sources, cross checking facts and looking for citations. I may not be the most intelligent person, but is this the way a lot of people are?


Seriously, please give me insight. is this normal?


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## mls26cwru (Dec 19, 2016)

Rocks are incredibly hard to discern even IF gold is in them, but you also need to know how much is in them... I would suggest having them assayed by a professional so you know definitively what and how much is in them.


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## rickbb (Dec 19, 2016)

cloud9please said:


> My dearest and closest to me have become the most distant. My family is nothing but pessimists. It is always "you cannot do this, and this -MIGHT- be why you cant". They will do anything to shoot down an idea even if its a complete and total assumption that they back with such conviction, it has made me riddled with doubt my whole life.



Been there done that. My solution? Stop telling people what I want to try. Google and search out forums like this one. Learn it, do it and to hell with the pessimists. After a few years of being successful WITHOUT their input they will lean that you don't need or want their "advise". :wink: 

As for your rock samples, go to the prospecting page, at the top is a sticky about doing some field tests that are good yes/no tests for what may be in your rocks. You can't tell just by looking at them without years of experience and even then you can still be fooled.


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## Topher_osAUrus (Dec 19, 2016)

Well, I know nothing about ore.. But, i do know what it is like to be the black sheep of my family.

I was a pretty hardcore pill head (addict) for about 13 years of my life... In that time, i screwed over my family immensely.. My friends all stopped talking to me, and the only people who would associate with me were my dealers. I was bad... Very..very bad.. 

It was something i knew I needed to fix, but no matter how hard I tried, that monster inside me always reared its ugly head.. I couldn't get better on my own. Finally I found a doctor who could/would/DID help me and I haven't even thought about pills since.. This was a huge step for me.. Finding help.. But, after I did.. My family started to let me back in after they saw me clean, healthy, and actively trying to be a better person.. They started talking to me again.. Listening to me (they used to not, as every line i uttered was total b.s. only to further my interests.. i.e. drugs..)

Now, after time has began healing those wounds i caused... And painstakingly rebuilding the bridges i burned down in my firey wake... I can talk to/ask my family for anything and they know that its *ME*...not the monster I was for so long. 

Believe me when I tell you, I know dark days.. I know paranoia... I know the feeling of being the black sheep.. Because I made myself that.. And now Ive been busting my ass for quite some time to right all the wrongs that I have done in my past life... As now, I have to be a role model for my two young sons... And if they*EVER* get on drugs I *WILL*WHoOoP*their*butts*!

Just be patient... Stay away from the illicit crap, and the universe will be much kinder.. I speak from personal experience


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## UncleBenBen (Dec 20, 2016)

Topher_osAUrus said:


> Well, I know nothing about ore.. But, i do know what it is like to be the black sheep of my family.
> 
> I was a pretty hardcore pill head (addict) for about 13 years of my life... In that time, i screwed over my family immensely.. My friends all stopped talking to me, and the only people who would associate with me were my dealers. I was bad... Very..very bad..
> 
> ...



Many kudos and congratulations for turning things around for yourself, Topher. I know it's a hard thing to do. I'm glad you made it through, and I'm sure you're all the better for it now.


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## Topher_osAUrus (Dec 20, 2016)

Thank you Ben... 
I usually dont like tp air my old dirty laundry out.. But there were a few things in his post that made me flash back to a very dark time in my life... And, in all honesty, I would be dead right now if it werent for a couple people in my life that didnt gice up on me...as well as my children for giving me the strength to push through the pain and self inflicted suffering.

I made my post not for positive affirmation, but as a signification that life is what we make it, and that there is always hope...always.
I could literally sit here and write pages and pages of anecdotes to elaborate on how far down "rock bottom" can be... But, this is a gold refining forum, not a past life pity party.
So OP, keep your chin up, and live right. Then good things will certainly follow.


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