# Parental Control and a Sassy Teenager



## publius (Feb 12, 2012)

I almost sent Mr. Jordan a message asking if I could have the laptop you will see about 7:30 in this video...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kl1ujzRidmU&feature=player_embedded#!
But it might be contaminated with too much lead. :roll:


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## Anonymous (Feb 12, 2012)

I'm not sure if Harold will have an issue with this thread,but if you do Harold,I understand.Now here is my reply.

Over 202,000 likes in 3 days! Nice! Personally I would've sold the laptop,but it was still awesome to watch.


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## joem (Feb 12, 2012)

My wife has posted a very positive comment on that video when she saw it. My kids have watched too.


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## Anonymous (Feb 12, 2012)

Is it too late to nominate this guy for president 2012 ?!?!?!


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## jack_burton (Feb 12, 2012)

Great watch. Awesome dad. 

I don't see a problem with this video.


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## Smack (Feb 12, 2012)

Need more parents like him, parents that care and don't let their kids run them.


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## publius (Feb 12, 2012)

mic said:


> I'm not sure if Harold will have an issue with this thread,but if you do Harold,I understand.Now here is my reply.
> 
> Over 202,000 likes in 3 days! Nice! Personally I would've sold the laptop,but it was still awesome to watch.


Harold and Noxx shouldn't have an issue with this. But I did have to double check that it was in the proper section of the forum. If they do have an issue with it and remove it, I will not have a problem.


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## Harold_V (Feb 13, 2012)

Well, I viewed it, along with my wife. 
Do I think it's appropriate for the gold forum?

No---I do not.

However, do I think it should remain?

Absolutely!

I was married for 14 years to my first wife. She gave birth to one child, a girl. She may or may not be my child. 
When she was the same age, she turned to drugs, alcohol, tobacco and sex and would have no part of being reigned in. When I tried, she ran away from home. When I found her two days later, staying at her aunt's house (her mother's sister), I was told by her that "she was on her own now, and didn't need me in her life any longer". She is now 48 years old and still assumes the same posture. She commonly makes reference to me as "harold". Needless to say, she will reap nothing from me when I'm gone. I've seen to that. 

These are two examples of what's wrong with young people today. I'm damned proud of that guy and his actions. He has set an example for all---in particular those who possess an entitlement attitude and feel the world owes them everything, while they contribute nothing. 

Harold


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## Claudie (Feb 13, 2012)

I don't think the Lead should be a problem. Chances are, he was using newer "Lead Free" ammo in the weapon. Even if he was using the Lead bullets, I am thinking that there should only be trace amounts of Lead left in the laptop. Most of the metal would have passed completely through into the ground. I would refine it as usual, if the Lead does prove to be a problem, it would be a small one. :|


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## Smack (Feb 13, 2012)

Yea Claudie, that's probably the worst part about the whole video is him contaminating the ground with lead...stupid teens.


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## rusty (Feb 13, 2012)

Personally I think the father is a control freak, what his daughter says in her face-book or to her friends behind her father back is none of his business. It's what she says yo his face that counts.

I did not watch the whole video, I got the hell out of there when he read the part about getting his own coffee and wiping the mud from the floor from his boots. I have to agree with the daughter.

Taking away her laptop then shooting holes into is amounts to mental abuse, I can imagine if the daughter put a lock on her bedroom door the father would demand a key.

I say leave the girl to her privacy and quit playing these mind games.

My wife was only 16 year old when we met, I was boarding at her parents house and she would come into my room at night. A week or so later her father hung this sign on my bedroom door.

Remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty.


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## Geo (Feb 13, 2012)

rusty said:


> Personally I think the father is a control freak, what his daughter says in her face-book or to her friends behind her father back is none of his business. It's what she says yo his face that counts.
> 
> I did not watch the whole video, I got the hell out of there when he read the part about getting his own coffee and wiping the mud from the floor from his boots. I have to agree with the daughter.
> 
> ...



:shock: :shock: :shock:

i agree. how dare a parent try and force their child to be respectful and decent. i think all kids should be able to decide for themselves how they can act in puplic. naw, im just pokin fun. if my kid tried to lock me out of any room in my house, i would remove the door and hang a curtain up and then laugh at their tears (well maybe not laugh, just a good chuckle).


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## Claudie (Feb 13, 2012)

Rusty, maybe you should watch the whole video. The part about the coffee and the muddy floors, if I remember right, were supposedly lies. I think one of her chores was to sweep the floor when she got home. I think the lying may have been what made the dad so angry to start with. I might even ask one of my kids for a cup of coffee, but that same kid may ask me to get something for them to, which I usually will. It's called living together and helping each other out. I know some teens can be a handful today, I started dating my wife when she was only 15 years old, but 15 year olds act very differently today than they did 30 years ago. 
Anyway, what I am getting at is, to make an accurate assumption of the video, you need to watch it all. Maybe the guy was wrong to do what he did, maybe he was right. We will never know the whole situation. :|


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## kuma (Feb 13, 2012)

Hello all , how are tricks?
I hope all is well!
I saw this video , albeit not all the way through due to limits on my internet *credit*.
On re-reading this thread though I had a thought , what are the chances that he bought that laptop for her himself out of his own hard earned cash ? 
Probably quiet high , if I was in his shoes and it was being used to publicly put me and my parenting efforts down on facebook , I'd probably be thinking along the same lines he was.
I've already warned my boys that if they keep fighting over their nintendo DS games they're quickly going to find their way into one of my bags of shiney bits , :lol: :twisted: :lol: 
Kids with electronic games and entertainment everywhere , beware! :twisted: 
All the best everybody , and kind regards ,
Chris :mrgreen:


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## Harold_V (Feb 13, 2012)

One of the reasons I try to not allow things like this subject on the forum is the acrimony that often results. This one is clearly a good example, for there's obviously two very different opinions on the value of the response of the parent. 

Do not lose track of the idea that the parent's responsibility is to ------ *PARENT* ------- to set examples of good and proper behavior, so the child that is struggling to enter society and know how to play within the rules, written or implied, learns how that's done. For the child to have bitten the hand that feeds her is clearly an indication that she was rebelling and wanted nothing to do with being lead down that path. I witnessed that very thing with the child born to my ex wife, the one I mentioned previously. 

In that post, I suggested that she had made an attempt to fix our relationship. That came a few years after I was informed that I was not needed in her life. At that point in time, I had a reasonable relationship with my ex and her now husband, as did my present wife. We had been invited to dinner at the ex's house. The child, who was now addressing me as harold, wanted to talk it out, but she was in a hurry, at her own admission, because she had to drive to Vernal, Utah, (about 100 miles distant), where she was going to spend the weekend with a half dozen oil well workers. Clearly not something I found acceptable for a child to do. She was informed that if she had hopes of fixing our relationship, one of the things that was going to happen was she was going to lose the use of my name when she addressed me. I was the person that had supported her as a child, whether she was my child, or not, and that I had earned the respect of the title of father, or any of the variants that she might see fit. For her to address me as harold was clearly not acceptable, as it showed a complete lack of respect for me as a father figure. I was left with the idea that I could accept her, and her disrespect, and we could get along, or we wouldn't get along. 

In life, none of us are required to like anyone. However, if we hope to have a functional relationship with others, there are certain things we must do. If these things are too expensive to provide, a broken relationship _should be expected_. To have compromised on trying to set examples of proper behavior in not only my case, but the example in discussion, would have been a grave mistake, for it clearly showed that bad behavior _could_ be rewarded. 

Gill, as much as I respect your position, I can not agree with you in this case. For a child to speak out against their parents in the fashion displayed is clearly not acceptable. If more parents got involved in what their children were doing, and tried to set boundaries, perhaps we wouldn't be seeing the overwhelming number of people today on the gold forum that appear to have an entitlement attitude. Having experienced something very similar in my life, I am of the opinion that the child is clearly out of line. We generally do not permit the monkeys to run the zoo, eh?

My hat is off to the guy that shot the laptop. In my mind, he clearly showed that his objective was not to control the child, but to set an example, even when it cost him from his own pocket. To have sold the laptop would have sent the wrong message, that it was for his benefit.

Harold


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## publius (Feb 13, 2012)

Harold,
You are now my hero. What a wise man!


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## slickdogg (Feb 13, 2012)

over 2 million views on youtube,
and it caught the attention of fox news :lol: :lol: 


http://tinyurl.com/6pkkkkd


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## patnor1011 (Feb 13, 2012)

The whole purpose of it was to get in spotlight. I guess he will have his 5 minutes of fame and she too. Typical stuff we get in TV everyday by various reality TV programs. 
I think he did right thing, kids needs to be shown some boundaries but he did it in so bad way I did not even wanted to react on all this. This should be dealt with quietly within family and not like he did.

This kind of actions and while whole world is watching will do total opposite of what he meant to achieve. Mainly in head of pubertal teens.


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## Harold_V (Feb 14, 2012)

patnor1011 said:


> The whole purpose of it was to get in spotlight.


That is something we will never know------but I'm of the opinion that when you find yourself involved in a contest with morons, you often must resort to moronic behavior in order for the other party to understand your objective. She used the laptop he most likely purchased for her, the same laptop he invested in further by installing her wants, for her to use it as a weapon to degrade him? She deserves everything she got, and much more, in my opinion. 

You don't think so? There's no better way to gain an understanding in circumstances such as this than to reverse roles. How would any of you feel if your child had posted something like that, making an issue over having to make their own bed, or to help around the house. After all, doesn't that child live there too, and benefit from the efforts of others? Assume your child said things like that about you, then tell me how you'd feel. 

It's more than clear to me that there are people in life that have different value systems, often VERY different value systems. Anyone who knows my brother and me would so attest. He is the "shiny" one---the one that displays well. Dresses with suits and ties, always clean shaven, was successful in business, yet nothing that comes from his mouth can be believed. He'll betray anyone for profit, and that includes his only surviving son. 

By contrast, I look like someone that might be found living under a bridge--don't own a necktie, and have only three suits, each bazaar by the measure of most people. With those suits I've worn ruffled shirts and a bow tie. One of the suits is a lime green Edwardian style, with the other two being black and gray, and brown and gold, each with tails. I'm sure that, to some, I look like a clown, but that's where I'm comfortable. Hair down to my shoulders on most occasions, and have not shaved since 1964. I don't show well. 

And---if you happen to read something I post---you can expect it's the truth. I do not make a habit of creating things. Who amongst the readers on this forum would have picked me to be the more reliable, based on appearance? 

One thing I have learned. Do not judge the other guy unless you've walked in his shoes. What, to you, may appear to be absurd, may be very important to that individual. 

Harold

Edit:
It's too damned bad that father can't buy that kid for what she's worth, and sell her for what she thinks she's worth. He could retire.


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## Geo (Feb 14, 2012)

there is one aspect to this that i haven't seen addressed, and that's the fact that shes the product of a broken home. i know some people are born bad and some are born good, but i do believe that people largely are a product of their environment. a child that gets passed back and forth from one parent to another having two half lives and not one whole life is going to have problems. its true what people say about be a parent first and a friend second. any of my children, and i have no doubt, will not stand to have someone speak unkindly of either their mother or myself and the worst punishment i can bestow on any of them is to tell them that i am disappointed in them which brings instant tears. i taught my children that respect is never given, but it is earned. they respect me and i respect them and if any respect is lost by either, its not given back until it is earned back.


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## rusty (Feb 14, 2012)

Geo said:


> there is one aspect to this that i haven't seen addressed, and that's the fact that shes the product of a broken home. i know some people are born bad and some are born good, but i do believe that people largely are a product of their environment. a child that gets passed back and forth from one parent to another having two half lives and not one whole life is going to have problems. its true what people say about be a parent first and a friend second. any of my children, and i have no doubt, will not stand to have someone speak unkindly of either their mother or myself and the worst punishment i can bestow on any of them is to tell them that i am disappointed in them which brings instant tears. i taught my children that respect is never given, but it is earned. they respect me and i respect them and if any respect is lost by either, its not given back until it is earned back.



Kudo's Geo, my wife and I raised ours this way also.

It's amazing how much influence the mother can have over her children to poison any possible relationship the father may have. 

Anyhow I'm not going to turn this post into an Ann Landers column and get back to refining gold and silver.


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## glondor (Feb 14, 2012)

After going through 3 months of hell imposed on our family by our 14 year old daughter, I have to agree with the guy with the laptop and gun. To me it seems like he was trying to get a message to her any way he could. In our case it was outside influence, school friends, who turned our formerly kind, respectful, fun to be around cheerful daughter into a resentful, lazy "the world owes me everything" monster who turned our lives upside down since November. There was no message we could give her that would get through. None. Glad to say we finally got it sorted last week but it sure was not easy.


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## kuma (Feb 14, 2012)

Hello all , how are tricks?
I hope all is well!



Geo said:


> there is one aspect to this that i haven't seen addressed, and that's the fact that shes the product of a broken home. i know some people are born bad and some are born good, but i do believe that people largely are a product of their environment. a child that gets passed back and forth from one parent to another having two half lives and not one whole life is going to have problems.



I spent some time writing a reply to this whole thread lastnight and thought long and hard about wether or not to submit it.
I decided I would , I decided I wouldn't , and eventualy just resigned myself to bed thinking that it was probably best just left alone.
Seeing as were still on the subject , I feel it fair enough that I say my piece on the subject, :roll: 
The post below is what I wrote lastnight , I pasted it to notepad just incase I changed my mind ; 

Hello all , how are tricks?
I hope all is well!
I was going to quote many parts of Harold's post , but it will be much easier if I just say now that I wholeheartedly concur with every aspect of what I see as the good parenting ideals that Harold describes.
I grew up in childrens homes and foster homes ( including a stint in a phsyciatric ward ) from the age of three till sixteen , bar just one year when I lived with my father at around ten or eleven years old ( he kicked me out after a year so he could shack up with a woman who for some reason despised me ) , and not once in that time did I consistently have a single parent or staff member telling me how to behave , or even the simple things like do your homework , brush your teeth , so on and so forth.
I had to figure it all out for myself , and it didn't click fast.
So when my first born son arrived ( I was only 18 ) , I didn't have a clue how to be a parent as no one had ever seemed to set an example.
Not just the usual how do I change nappies (diapers , :mrgreen: ) and figure out the feeding regime , but I really didn't know what my partner , my child , or even society as a whole , expected from me as a parent.
I've been trying to work it out for myself ( still working on it , :lol: ) , on the job as it were , trying my hardest to get it right but sometimes it makes me feel bad about myself.
Why ?
Because sometimes I feel like I'm being too harsh on them , I do have my kids on a fairly tight leash , but that's the way I feel it should ( needs to ) be done.
I know that all kids are different , and in my honest opion demographics will play a part too , I guess what I'm trying to say is that when I see groups of fourteen and fifteen year olds getting drunk and starting fights ( I am a proud Jerseyman , but we've got our fair share of c*ap too I guess , :roll: ) , I think of my kids , and I know that it doesn't have to be that way.
The majority of kids out there that age wouldn't even consider getting drunk at weekends , let alone on Dad's beer nicked from the garage or whatever.
I'm a firm believer that all you need to do is to stay on top of them by whatever means necessary , and keep reminding them that you're on top of what they're up to only because you care about them ( tough love ? ).
Just my dos centavos guys , if my parenting tactics are flawed time will be sure to let me know , :roll: 
Wishing everybody and their families all the very best , and sending my kind regards ,
Chris

( PS , I have thought whilst re-reading this post wether or not to actualy submit it , I have decided to not only as it's taken me forever to write it ( :lol: ) , but as I feel my point is valid in this case , I feel that there's a lot to be said for tough love )

End.

I feel very lucky. 
The childhood that I endured was very hard work , but it taught me so much about life , people , and the way people work , and this has helped me further on in life to spot the bad from the good.
I think it's fair to say that at least 95% of the kids that I lived with growing up either have been or are a mess on drugs , or have died from drugs , and in some cases commited suicide.
Don't get me wrong , I was no angel and enjoyed more than my fair share of cheeky smokes , but for some reason I always knew where to draw the line.
It is easy and in many cases fair to say that someone is a product of their enviornment , but I'm living proof that it doesn't always have to be that way.
I grew up with ADHD and Aspergers ( which went undiagnosed untill relativly recently ) , and I often wonder if this is how I managed to come through it , because I'm * wired differently * , I'll never know.
All I know for sure is that I'm there for my kids for life , and if I ever have to come down hard on any of them to save them from themselves or from some dark and twisted bit of society ( junkies and street rats , beware :evil: ) , I'm all over it.
I've seen what can happen to kids when there's no one to watch over them and guide them with a firm hand , and I'll be damned before I ever see that happen again.
Maybe I've said too much already , but I feel that I can finish by saying I'm proud of where I am today compared to where I could have been.
I don't have money , or a mortgage , and my van is on it's last legs , but my family is happy and content , and that is all that matters to me.

My babies! :mrgreen: , http://tinyurl.com/6rohwqo




Harold_V said:


> By contrast, I look like someone that might be found living under a bridge--don't own a necktie, and have only three suits, each bazaar by the measure of most people. With those suits I've worn ruffled shirts and a bow tie. One of the suits is a lime green Edwardian style, with the other two being black and gray, and brown and gold, each with tails. I'm sure that, to some, I look like a clown, but that's where I'm comfortable. Hair down to my shoulders on most occasions, and have not shaved since 1964. I don't show well.
> 
> One thing I have learned. Do not judge the other guy unless you've walked in his shoes. What, to you, may appear to be absurd, may be very important to that individual.
> 
> Harold



Now this sounds like a guy I could share a bottle of Glenfiddich with , 8) 

All the very best everybody , and kind regards ,
Chris :mrgreen:

(Edited for some clarity)


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## etack (Feb 14, 2012)

The fathers reasoning for shooting the laptop might be sound but what did he show his daughter, that it is OK when mad to act out violently and embarrass the other person. No. This man behaved in a manner that is no different than his teenage daughter. As a parent you need to show your children how to behave in public and what he did at home is his business(still don't agree with), but when he posted it on line that was mean and vindictive. I agree with Gill this was not appropriate and abusive. He taught her nothing, and that is his job or "chore" as a parent.

Eric 
father of 5


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## glondor (Feb 14, 2012)

Or maybe he showed her that if you act like an ass to people, people can act like an ass right back. In today's society acting like an ass to people can get more than your lap top shot. Just an opinion.


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## Smack (Feb 14, 2012)

Learning is the point here isn't it. After suffering the consequences of her actions and I'm assuming will continue to suffer from them for some time based on what the father said. If the daughter learns nothing from it, I must say that it would be a severe narcosis of the brain and the child is beyond any help the parents could provide. If the girl truly learns nothing from the discipline her father sees fit to administer then and only then might his punishment on her be considered a fail, but we will never know this because she will definitely remember and carry this experience with her through life and she may use this experience later in life when making a serious decision. I think the lesson here is, there are consequences in life and if you act something out or even say something, you best be prepared to suffer the consequences. She had every right to rant like that BUTnow she's finding out she was wrong. And deep down she knew it was wrong, that's why she tried to hide it.


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## etack (Feb 14, 2012)

what he taught her is that it is OK when someone dose something to her that she find offensive to take a gun and shoot up there stuff. He didn't show her that talking about her father on the internet is appropriate he showed her that it is more important to get even.

Eric


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## Geo (Feb 14, 2012)

in the "real world" we all have rules to live by and laws to govern us. if you break the rules or the laws and you are caught (much like the girl broke the rules and she was caught) then you are penalized by the governing body (magistrate,judge, in this case the father) and they take your stuff away from you (money in fines, freedom in jail time) much like the loss of a laptop and loss of freedom by being grounded.public humiliation works and is still used today in the U.S. as in the case of people made to hold signs proclaiming they are a thief and so forth. this can be seen as a lesson of whats to come when shes of age and breaks the rules or laws, the next time she goes on a social networking site and slanders someone after shes an adult she could face punitive litigation and if not paid because shes not employed could face jail time for failure to comply with a court order. life lessons are better learned while the offense is something that can be dealt with by the parents.


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## niteliteone (Feb 14, 2012)

I just saw on CNN this Father was visited this morning by CPS who brought in the cops which decided the father "violated no laws period".

One officer said kudos, even stated he showed this video to his kids and told them to learn from it.

Father is a former Marine by the way.

Tom C.


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## etack (Feb 14, 2012)

this is last of it from me we will only agree that we will not agree.

That been said in the real world you cannot take someones stuff and shoot it up because you don't like what they said. I understand that no laws where broken and that you can shoot your own stuff. Since he bought it one can say it is his. however when she get older and shes at collage and some girl post something on Facebook she doesn't like; she think back to this and say what would my daddy do.

Eric


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## kelly (Feb 14, 2012)

One thing the video has accomplished is a far reaching discussion of parenting, children, actions, consequences, and responsiblity; that, I think, is a good thing.

As an aside, Kuma, in my humble opinion, with the attitude you've consistently displayed here on this forum, you'll make a fine parent.
All the best,
Kelly


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## markmopar (Feb 14, 2012)

kelly said:


> As an aside, Kuma, in my humble opinion, with the attitude you've consistently displayed here on this forum, you'll make a fine parent.
> All the best,
> Kelly



I agree!


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## Harold_V (Feb 15, 2012)

etack said:


> The fathers reasoning for shooting the laptop might be sound but what did he show his daughter, that it is OK when mad to act out violently and embarrass the other person. No. This man behaved in a manner that is no different than his teenage daughter.


Remember me stating that there are times when the only way you can make the other party understand is to lower yourself to their level? Extraordinary circumstances often demand extraordinary actions. 

I am of the opinion (having experienced very much the same thing) that anything less than drastic measures serves only to bolster the negative behavior of the child. Bad behavior should never be rewarded, nor condoned, for it establishes a parameter that may be very distasteful to you, as a parent, and definitely offensive to society. In the real world, this same child may encounter an individual that may not deal with them as kindly as we witnessed. The lesson must be learned, and it will. How costly it becomes to the child is the only remaining issue. 

If any of you have never dealt with a defiant child, it would serve you well to remain unbiased in circumstances such as this. You'll never understand the pain involved when you are treated like garbage, totally rejected by the very individual for whom you have toiled. 

Children from very early years, likely only months old, begin testing parents to determine boundaries. Parents who fail to "parent" reap a terrible reward in later years, when the child has little, if any conscience, and has objectives that are for his/her benefit only, regardless of the pain inflicted on those who have given them life or for those with whom they must interact. When bad behavior remains unchecked, the message received is that it is acceptable. 



> As a parent you need to show your children how to behave in public and what he did at home is his business(still don't agree with), but when he posted it on line that was mean and vindictive.


As if to imply that his daughter didn't deserve what she received? Her actions weren't "mean and vindictive"?
I wonder how you'd feel if you had just spent over $100 for your child, which, in return, was used as a weapon against you by the same child? It's all too easy to stand back and be judgmental of those who face the problem, but, just like how you'd deal with an intruder in your home, you really don't know what you'd do until you face the problem. 

Seriously---just for a moment, reverse roles here. Imagine your beloved child turning on you in like fashion. How would you feel? How would you react?

As I said previously, don't judge too harshly. You never know when it's your turn to deal with identical circumstances. 

You'll never begin to understand the degree of dismay (and pain) when a "model child" suddenly becomes the devil and is hell bent on total destruction. 

Trust me. 

I've been there. 

My appreciation for the open, frank discussion we have enjoyed concerning this topic, without creating yet another monster. I'm pleased to see you all have maintained respect for others.

It is my intention to leave the thread open for comments, and I will do so unless I am instructed otherwise by my fellow moderators, or Noxx. For those who feel this is not of importance, please do remember, you are under no obligation to follow the thread. *Please ignore it if you find it distasteful*. Personally, I consider it of importance in that part of the problem we face here on the forum is the same behavior by certain individuals. They keep me busy. 

Harold


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## Claudie (Feb 15, 2012)

I am still choosing to remain as neutral as I can in this situation. I have not personally had a rebellious child like that (and I hope I never do), but I have seen others close to me go through some pretty trying times. I agree with Harold's part about not judging if you haven't been there and saw it first hand. It is a different country than it was just a short time ago. Like I said in an earlier post, we weren't there to see how the girl acts, we don't know the whole situation, and probably never will. We don't know how long this has been building up, or how much the dad has already let her get by with. He did mention that this wasn't the first time. Anything we get from from this will just be speculation. :|


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## glondor (Feb 15, 2012)

Harold is right.You will do anything you have to to protect the ones you love if you love them. Some times it means lowering the bar with the hopes you can raise it again later. You have to get to a point of meaningful communication, You do what is necessary to break the hold other people and ideas have on your child. I can tell you attitude and behavior change can come out of left field with the speed of a freight train and with just as much energy for disruption. 

Some times I think your kid needs you to prove how much you care and will go to extremes to make you prove it. This guy cares about his kid. She pushed him to extremes. He pushed back. 

I bet they are talking and working it all out now. If that display did not get her attention.....


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## Anonymous (Feb 15, 2012)

glondor said:


> I bet they are talking and working it all out now. If that display did not get her attention.....


Obviously he tried other measures *first*,however those measures clearly did not work,so he took other measures.Hopefully it will work this time,and she will grow up and act more responsibly.


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## kuma (Feb 15, 2012)

markmopar said:


> kelly said:
> 
> 
> > As an aside, Kuma, in my humble opinion, with the attitude you've consistently displayed here on this forum, you'll make a fine parent.
> ...



Guy's , that's just actualy made me cry , thank you for your kind words ,    
All the very best for now , and kind regards ,
Chris


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## Geo (Feb 15, 2012)

hey Kuma, thats a mighty handsome group of young men you have there. in a couple of years you'll have a full crew.


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## butcher (Feb 23, 2012)

Have not seen the video and probably will not.

we just have to be the very best parent we can be, always be there for our children, and yes sometimes carry a big stick.


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## kuma (Feb 24, 2012)

Hello all , how are tricks?
I hope all is well!



Geo said:


> hey Kuma, thats a mighty handsome group of young men you have there. in a couple of years you'll have a full crew.



Ahh , cheers Jeff!  
The little one in the middle is Lily Mae , I have a strong suspicion that shes going to be the crew chief! :lol: 



butcher said:


> we just have to be the very best parent we can be, always be there for our children, and yes sometimes carry a big stick.



For sure , 8) 

All the very best everybody , and kind regards , 
Chris :mrgreen:


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## kadriver (Mar 3, 2012)

Harold_V said:


> If any of you have never dealt with a defiant child, it would serve you well to remain unbiased in circumstances such as this. You'll never understand the pain involved when you are treated like garbage, totally rejected by the very individual for whom you have toiled.



I have had the experience of being treated with indignation, rejection and down-right hatred by my child - it was very painful to say the least. It resulted in no contact for over three years - one of the most painful periods in my life.

Most people will think that I should have my head examined for expressing this view, but I believe that having been treated like garbage by a loved one is a highly valuable experience.

When someone - especially a cherished loved one - treats us badly, the experience presents a fantastic opportunity for a demonstration, if we have been enabled to do so.

When someone offends us, this should be our course; We look upon the offender as someone who is perhaps sick (mentally) and may be experiencing a great deal of emotional pain - maybe even some pain created by us. 

The only way to repond is with kindness and caring - and above all - forgivness.

By responding with vengence and retaliation (which is veiled unforgiveness), we end up adding to our own pain and hurting ourselves even more.

To harbor bitterness and resentment towards the offender can be compared to drinking poison and then waiting for the offender to die. Ultimately, we end up suffering from our own resentement, rendering us useless to help even ourselves.

It's like being at war, and as in war, nobody really wins. The solution to war (between family members) is surrender. There can be no fight if one side decides to surrender.

Withour surrender, the war continues to the death of one or both sides!

I hope this writing is not offensive to anyone - kadriver


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## Geo (Mar 3, 2012)

i have a son that has just turned 22 and we have had it out on many occasions. he has cursed at me and called me vile digusting names in the heat of the moment and he always comes crying and begging me to forgive him and we have never come to blows. he's a big boy at 6'2" and 180 lbs and im sure it would be a hard fight but he knows as well as i do that should it ever come down to it he would run from me. i would never strike any of my children in anger, outside of punishment (and i have not spared the belt by no means) but never while angered. even through all of that i know for a fact that he will not stand to have someone disrespect his mother or myself and of all the fights he's ever been in was because of honor, standing up for himself or his family. i cant use my family as a model, im from a broken home, passed back and forth from one family member to another all my young life. what time my parents were together they fought constantly with my father usually beating my mother in front of us kids. im not a product of my environment as ive never struck my wife or my children (outside of punishment) and my punishment ends there, no more said about it, debt paid and forgotten. my children are well behaved and polite. i cant imagine how ive pulled it off with my background but im proud of them. im sure that like other children they have had the opportunity to bad mouth their mother or me but for the life of me i have never seen or heard anything to make me think they ever would.


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