I'll give this more thought as I share your enthusiasm for separating silver contacts from relay reeds. I think you're on the right track with gravity separation.
I've heard of "gold magnets" before. Just did a little research and found this cat:
http://www.thelostdutchmangoldmine.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1343
Seems he "broke the rules" of physics and created an "electrostatic induction" magnet that can pick up not only non-ferrous metals such as gold, silver, copper, etc., but also wood, stone, and bugs(!) He began exhibiting it earlier this year. It sounds like maybe it induces a static charge in the item it is near and then produces an opposite charge to attract the item to the magnet? I'm trying to find out more as this could revolutionize our little hobby.
In the meantime, what lead me to him was an idea that if one could induce a current in a solid (such as gold), then tune some sort of "magnet" that would only attract at that frequency, then one might be able to make a magnet that could pick out, say, silver bits from a bunch of copper bits. Perhaps casting an electromagnetic field at some frequency of oscillating current will "tune" to particular metals, each having its own "response" frequency.
The more simple solution for the present task, however, seems to be to simply cut the silver buttons from the reeds, leaving very little of the mounting material, then dissolve in acid and recover in pure form.